ready, set, it's almost time

Things I have done or am doing since my dad has been at the hospice house:

1. I have gone to see him everyday. I have been going in the evenings, at dinner time, so that I can help him/encourage him to eat his meal. This evening, he was unable to feed himself. :( Too tired? Forgot how to? So I fed him.

2. I went and saw another hospice home and instead of red flags, this time, I got warm fuzzies. They do not have an opening at this moment, but will call me when they do have one. I'll deal with that when it happens.

3. I participated in discharge planning with the nurse and the social worker. My dad will be coming back to our home on Friday. A hospital bed and one of those mobile tables will be delivered tomorrow.

4. In preparation for the bed's arrival, all the stuff in my dad's room was removed. His carpeting has been shampooed. This evening. By me.

5. In my head, I am thinking of all the stuff we will be needing. I better write it down so I won't forget to get it all from Hospice when they come on Friday.

6. I am fighting a cold, cough, achy body. I just took NyQuil and decided to blog before it knocks me out.

I told Tom that I hate having my dad take Morphine. He was sleeping almost all the time before he started taking it, and he continues to sleep almost all the time. It's just that now when he does awaken, he doesn't look the same. He looks at me, but he's not in there. I hate it. But the alternative to the morphine is pain. And I won't have that for my dad. Who would have thought that rolling would make one scream? And when he is getting cleaned up, wow - I have to get far away from his room so I don't hear it. They have recently started to give him extra morphine about a 1/2 hour before they clean him up, and that reportedly is working. I was able to be outside the room last night and this evening. With his yuck I have, I have only stayed a half hour the last few days. I cannot risk him getting this so I stay away as much as I can. I probably shouldn't go at all, I know. It is selfish of me to go when I am sick.

Anyway...2 1/2 more days and he'll be back. I am praying for strength and continued patience. And I must say, it will be so nice to have him here again.