His Reality

I am writing this entry to emphasize the power of this Alzheimer's Disease. Although you may giggle at the incident, it was so real to my dad. I saw such fear in his eyes, his actions, and his words. There was nothing I could do to calm him but to enter his world for a short time.

At 1:30 am this morning, my bedroom door was flung open, hard enough for the handle to hit the wall. I sat up, and my dad was standing at the entry all dressed. In his booming, deep voice he yelled, "Get up! There's a fire! Hurry! Come here!" Of course, I leaped out of bed and ran to him. He yelled in my face, "Fire!" He was just frantic. He went to every door and opened them, yelling inside, "Get out! Fire!" "Get the boy!" "Fire!"

I followed him down the hall into the living room/family room area. Both the front and back doors were wide open letting in the cool night air. "We have to go! We have to go see what's outside". I said, "but it's so cold out". He said, "I don't care how damn cold it is". So about 1:35 am, I went outside with my dad, dressed in my nightgown and flip flops, and we walked up and down the street. He was still breathing hard, quick short breaths, and looking up and down the street. His eyes - so scared. I hooked my arm through his, and tried to slow the pace. After about 15 minutes, we were in front of our house, and I guided him inside. He sat at the table, "I'm so tired". But he wouldn't go back to bed. I got out a game, and we silently played tic tac toe (a game that has a board and plastic X and O) Initially, he was just tossing the O on the board, one right after the other. He gradually calmed, his breathing slowed, and he began to pay attention to the game. When he started to consistently beat me, it was about 3 am. Somehow, I got him to go sit in the lazy boy and he fell asleep in about 5 minutes. I locked the screen door in addition to the wooden door. Then I laid on the couch. No way was I leaving him! Last I looked at the clock it was 4:30, and he got up about 6:30. This time, he told me he had to get ready for work. So he went and changed his clothes, put on his good shoes, and I made him coffee and a light breakfast. As soon as he was done, he put on his sweater and said he was leaving for the office. I reminded him that he had a vacation day today. "Oh yea". So he took off his shoes and went to lay down in his bed. He is still sleeping now and it is past 1 pm. He says he is too tired to get up, but I'll keep trying.

What more can I say? It was a bad night for him. I learned early on that A.D. patients operate out of fear, and this is a clear example. I had to enter his world. It was his reality. Trying to convince him otherwise is a waste of time, and would only bring out his stubborn, belligerent side that would protect himself. I really can't blame him for that. We would all do the same thing in our reality.

I HATE ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE!!!