Guilt

You can't believe how much guilt I have right now. Now isn't the only time, but it's bad now. I have spent the last 2 1/2 hours doing paperwork. Once in a while, I have gone out to check on my dad. I admit that I set him up in front of the TV - like a babysitter. I hate that. But there is stuff I need to get done! But I feel bad I didn't spend more time with my dad tonight. And yesterday was the day I usually give my dad a haircut and shave, but I didn't do it. I didn't have a caregiver on Saturday, and after Friday/Saturday/Sunday...I just had no more to give by Sun afternoon when I could have done it.

I never thought he'd be up as late as he was tonight. I got up at 6:30 this morning, and when I went out into the family room, there he was...all dressed and with his sun glasses on! No messes anywhere either. yeah!

Me: hey Dad. Did you know it's only 6:30?
Dad: I'm wide awake!

I went and got his regular glasses for him and told him that we'd trade. As he took off his sunglasses, he said, "it's not as dark as I thought it was".

He really wasn't wide awake. His eyelids were drooping, and he appeared to be nodding back to sleep. But it was morning for me, morning for my husband. Coffee being made, dishes being put away, noses being blown :) within a few minutes, he really was wide awake. Sooooooooooo......... breakfast at 7:00 am. Kind of messed up my schedule, but I made it OK. Anyway, no naps today, and he just went to bed. Like I said, I wasn't expecting him to be up this late.

The guilt - I know I have to get over that. But man oh man, how do I do that? Sometimes it's harder than others times. I think I like the other times.