The GOOD and the TRUTH

The GOOD
* Dad enjoyed a good night's sleep, got up later than usual this morning, and had a good breakfast.
* He basked in the sun and took a nap on his swing.
* We played a game of checkers and he beat me.
* He got a haircut, shave, and beard/mustache trim, and when he looked in the mirror, he said, "I look good!"
* We watched some old reruns of Bonanza and got a chuckle out of them.
* I had been thinking about a couple that my dad and mom had been friends with, and whom I saw in Michigan on my trip there prior to bringing him back to Arizona with me. So I called them today, and they seemed genuinely happy to hear from me, as they had wondered where he was. We had a nice talk, they gave me some good suggestions about the FL place, and plan to write to my dad. That made me feel so good. My dad has always been a very social guy, and the last few years, and since his move here...well, it seems as though everyone has forgotten about him. Not putting any blame on the situation...it just is what it is. Anyway, I was just glad I called them. :)
* We went to an awards ceremony at the high school tonight and I had a friend come and stay with my dad. All went well.

The TRUTH
Even though I put a deposit down on a place for my dad to stay in the month of July, I have not been feeling definite, about it. The $$$ is ridiculous, and even though the place is beautiful, I was still undecided. I went to another place on Monday. I had been there before, in fact, it was the first place I went to and I had liked it. Anyway, I went there and had a tour again and talked with, not sure of her title, but a nice woman. The assisted living part of it was nice. Nice rooms, activities, nice dining area, nice outside area...and the price is almost half of the other center. Then I went into the "special unit". Nice rooms, more staff, activities, a pathetic outside area that is secured. It was "down" time and the residents were mostly sitting in chairs or on the couches sleeping. It broke my heart and I hated it. My dad doesn't fit here. No way. I won't put him here. But somehow, I found myself setting up a time for them to come to my home and meet my dad, and assess which was the appropriate unit for him. I thought I already knew. The nurse came today, talked with me while my dad was outside, then met him, had a casual conversation with him, asked him all the self care things she had asked me, and did a "mini mental" test to assess his cognitive skills.

Truths
* To my surprise, my dad told her that he had been here 8 months.
* He lives in Clawson Michigan, in Oakland county, just outside of Detroit. (He moved from there in 1980)
* He did not know the year, although repeated 19... over and over.
* The month was January.
* He didn't know the date, but it was Sunday.
* The season was summer.
* He identified objects like a pen, magazine, and told their purposes.
* He repeated apple, nickel, Chicago after told to remember them. He repeated them twice after the nurse. She asked him another question, then asked him to repeat the three words. He couldn't do it. When prompted with "one is a fruit", he said banana. "One is a coin", he said nickel. "One is a city", he said Detroit.
* He told her that he didn't have any trouble eating (which is true)
* He said he dresses himself. When asked if he changes his clothes every day, he said yes.
* He responded that he brushes his teeth 2-3 times/day, doesn't have any problems taking a shower a few times/week, and never has "accidents".
* When asked to grasp a piece of paper she was holding with his right hand and fold it in half, he did it.
* When asked to use a pencil and copy two intersecting geometric shapes, he did it, however, it didn't really look much like the original.

I was told that he should be in the "special unit". He requires too much prompting to live in the assisted living area. He requires prompting to participate in activities and meals (otherwise, I know he wouldn't do anything). For safety, his bathroom would need to be regularly checked and cleaned. His hygiene needs to be monitored, and cued. The nurse told me that she believes that he would not be successful living in the assisted living area. He would be unable to socialize meaningfully with the others. She predicted that he would realize this, and would tend to isolate himself.

Ugly truths, and I know it.