I made it through Christmas without much trouble. And I got a nice treat on Christmas Eve at the midnight mass. An elderly gentleman sat next to me. He must have been at least 80. He winked at me several times, just like my dad did. It felt good. I wonder...was that a gift from my dad? I say yes.
And now, it's New Year's Eve. In a few hours, I will be able to say that my dad died last year. Not much comfort because it still feels like yesterday that he was here. We all lose our parents at one time or another. It's not an easy thing, but it is inevitable. (When someone died, my dad always used to say, "well, that's life!") I guess I realize this and know that it was his time, or was it my time to lose him? His staying with us was totally a gift that I am still grateful for every day. I was totally blessed...oh oh, tearing up!
Happy New Year! Wishing a healthy and happy 2010 to all!
And...check out this link. It's about Ginkgo biloba, which many have been taking to help with brain health and memory loss....
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-12-30-ginkgo30_ST_N.htm
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Rosy Christmas
I have been asked if Christmas time is going to be hard for me this year. We had my dad with us the last two Holiday seasons and it was great to have him here. But over the last 20 years, I have only spent a total of 4 Christmas times with him. So Christmas has not been a time devoted exclusively to my dad. Yes, I have lots of Christmas time memories of him back in Michigan. We all have memories of spending the holidays with our parents. They change as we grew up, but still, time with our folks is always special...I know it was for me.
As I was putting up the tree this year, I thought of that first Christmas my dad was here in 2007. He helped me put the decorations on the tree and we talked about the ornaments...some from him or my mom. Last year, as his health was failing, I simplified the tree decorations. He was there with me as I hung the garland, poinsettia flowers, and bulbs. "Such a pretty tree" he would say.
I was baking over the weekend, and I remembered how, his first Christmas with us, my dad came and snuck dough from my bowl, or swiped cookies as they laid on the cooling rack. Last year, I served him warm cookies and milk as he sat in the family room and watched me do some baking.
I don't anticipate Christmas time to be hard for me this year. I do expect a lot of memories of old, and a lot of more recent memories to be in the front of my mind. That's ok. I want to remember my time with him. Last year's Christmas was my last with him...and most of it was good. :) For now, I am refraining from reading my blog of a year ago. It may cloud my rosy outlook that I am struggling to hold on to.
As I was putting up the tree this year, I thought of that first Christmas my dad was here in 2007. He helped me put the decorations on the tree and we talked about the ornaments...some from him or my mom. Last year, as his health was failing, I simplified the tree decorations. He was there with me as I hung the garland, poinsettia flowers, and bulbs. "Such a pretty tree" he would say.
I was baking over the weekend, and I remembered how, his first Christmas with us, my dad came and snuck dough from my bowl, or swiped cookies as they laid on the cooling rack. Last year, I served him warm cookies and milk as he sat in the family room and watched me do some baking.
I don't anticipate Christmas time to be hard for me this year. I do expect a lot of memories of old, and a lot of more recent memories to be in the front of my mind. That's ok. I want to remember my time with him. Last year's Christmas was my last with him...and most of it was good. :) For now, I am refraining from reading my blog of a year ago. It may cloud my rosy outlook that I am struggling to hold on to.