Some thoughts

Sometimes I wonder why I keep adding entries to my blog. After all, I am not "caring for my dad" anymore. Sometimes (although not often) I wonder why I keep going to the support group for caregivers. I'm not a caregiver anymore.

Yesterday, I received an email from the facilitator of the support group. She told me that one of the women from the group wanted to talk with me and asked if I would call her. So I did. We talked for quite a long time. I listened to a very familiar story, and my heart was breaking for her. But I definitely knew what she was saying and I did understand. I gave her the site for my blog and pointed out where she should begin reading, as I was once in her very shoes.

I got an email from her this morning. The parts of my blog that she read were helpful to her. I'm glad. The journey of care giving is difficult, and stressful. It seems that once you get used to it (if ever), the care giving seems to have some predictability and routine. It may not last long, but for that time, your skills feel adequate. But then something changes, and the stress level increases, the questions arise, the self doubt emerges, and the guilt or regret eats us up. Doing the best we can for the moment is all we should require from ourselves. There is no way to do any better if you are doing your best and doing what you think is beneficial for your loved one. There is nothing more compassionate or loving for them...or for us.