Father's Day 2012

I am remembering my dad today on Father's Day.  Remembering how I used to surprise him on his holiday with a car wash, making his coffee or his breakfact, making him silly things from school.  I recall creating a "tie" out of cardboard, which he wore to church.  And later, making him a real tie (one of those very wide ones out of a very loud fabric) which he wore to work the next week.  And his last two father's days, he was with us.  I treasure those times.  Miss you, Dad!

#3

My dad became a great grandfather for the 3rd time on 4/3. Life goes on...

2 years

It's hard to believe that it has been 2 years since my dad passed away. I think it is much better to celebrate his life on his birthday and not get all sad on the day he died, but that's easier said than done. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Just this morning, when I walked by the hallway bathroom I thought of him. The door was closed (saving the toilet paper from the puppy's chops) but I saw that the light had been left on. For just a nano second, I thought my dad was in there. Funny how just a short segment of my life has had such an impact on me and my reactions to simple things like lights being left on, the sounds of certain TV shows, a door being opened/shut. There was sad stuff, but good stuff too. I am still so glad we were able to help him out, and I'd do it all again without a thought as to what lies ahead. I miss him lots. He would have enjoyed this morning - it's beautiful outside!

it goes on...

It's hard to believe that Christmas is here again. While preparing this year, I have thought a lot about my dad. He was here for 2 Christmas seasons and I have many great memories of that time. The only time my dad ever came into the kitchen to get food was when I was baking. I would pretend I didn't see him, and he'd quietly sneak in behind me and steal a cookie. And of course I would playfully scold him for being a thief! He joyfully accepted gifts, often doing that "oooooooooooooo......wonderful!" comment, especially with something soft and warm, like a blanket or slippers. He enjoyed listening to holiday music, which I had on a lot when I was baking. He'd be sitting at the table or in the family room tapping his feet, wagging his head to the beat of the music and smiling. That will always be a cherished memory. I told my husband last night that I really miss his laugh. That big, loud, belly laugh... :)

As my life has returned to somewhat of a normal state, our experiences with my dad have changed me forever. My heart is heavy for those who continue to care for their loved ones. I know it is a most challenging time that is filled with overwhelming sadness, fatigue, worry, isolation, frustration, questions, concerns, and anger at the whole situation. But I also hope it is a time when love is forefront, governing all that needs to be done. Our loved ones have changed, but they are still there. I remember that we never wanted to see that look of confusion or fear or anger on my dad's face, and somehow, we were able to minimize it with unconditional love, acceptance, and patience - most of the time. It's not easy, I know. But I truly wanted to, and did, enjoy every moment with my dad, this new dad. And part of having that love forefront was remembering to care for me. Again, this was not easy - and I didn't always do it either. But I did become quite skilled at napping during the day when I could to make up for lost sleep. I rarely, but did at times, ask for friends' help and my family was always willing to help when I asked. It got easier to do that asking and was always a life saver. I also was lucky to have found a very kind caregiver for my dad while I was working. She made my life so much easier - and kept my dad happy and my house clean! I never could have done both 24/7, but she made it possible for me on the weekends when I was home. And of course, if anyone had an ear, I would fill it.

The purpose of this entry? I guess to remember out loud that the fight goes on, that families continue to care for their loved ones, and that I personally have them all in my prayers...every day. To my wonderful mother and father in-law, and to Deb and Jim - you are all remarkable people and I love you all.

A day to remember?

Once again it is September 21st, World Alzheimer's Day. I don't want to celebrate it, remember it, or think about it. At least not today.

hi Dad!

My husband and I went to Hawaii in July. We had a very restful vacation and enjoyed the beautiful sights of Maui, and our time away from all the hustle and bustle of life. We were quite surprised to see my dad sitting there....

This man was so kind as to let me take his picture. I hope he is as kind if he ever comes across his picture on my blog!

He's always in my thoughts, but I never expected to see him while on my vacation. :)

Happy Father's Day

This is the day we honor our fathers. We have family get togethers, we spend time with them, we send cards across the miles, we make phone calls, we get them gifts, or we spend some time thinking about them. There are lots of us out there whose fathers aren't with us on this holiday. For some, it's a day of remembering the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Hey, no ones perfect... not even our fathers.) But I would guess that fond memories are with us all. I've been thinking of all the things I did with my dad that made me feel very special. When he went on Saturdays to play tennis, he would take me with him. While he played with his friend, I would hit the ball against the wall at the high school - wishing that someday, I could play as good as he did. After getting all A's on my report card, he and I would go out for dinner - and it was always to a fancy schmancy place (or so I thought at that age) and I felt so grown up and special to be there. He had the highest expectations for me, but I also thought he had reasonable expectations and at least some degree of understanding when I didn't live up to them. He instilled strong work ethics in me. He was a good example for having faith and doing for others. He demonstrated kindness, manners, and love of life. I will be forever grateful for these gifts.

I have also been blessed with a wonderful father-in-law. I always tell him that he is my favorite father-in-law, as I assume that I am his favorite daughter-in-law. We are both the "only" for each other. He is a very special man, and to this day, a loving father to his adult children, grandchildren, and to me.

I've been double lucky. :)